Thinking Out Loud

Reframing?

Lloyd is CEO of a small manufacturing company. He’s a master at figuring out systems to organize efficient processes. He loves the challenge—deciding on the best outcome and then analyzing tasks to achieve the goal. The employees respect Lloyd’s knowledge and intelligence, his work ethic, and commitment to the employees and the company. Read More

That’s Not What Happened!

Gerard and Lucy were arguing about what happened in an argument they had the previous day. Lucy recalled the sequence of events and the words Gerard used to express his anger. Gerard became indignant and accused her of not telling the truth. “I was sitting in the chair the whole time and you just said that I was huffing and puffing all around the room. That’s just not true.”  “Are you calling me a liar?” Lucy retorted. Read More

Beyond Communication Styles?

Mark was enthusiastic about using the Communication Styles Framework to approach his marital problems with Martha. Martha, however, was more cautious. He easily identified with the interpersonal component and could see Martha’s intrapersonal strengths, and it seemed clear to him that this difference was causing communication problems in their relationship. Read More

What Are You Saying to Yourself?

We all talk to ourselves quite a lot, sometimes out loud but mostly internally. In fact we spend more time talking internally than externally. This is a complicated matter in the relationship we have with ourselves, and it’s worth paying careful attention to the way we do this. Here’s an example of someone we’ll call Will trying to understand his reactions, thoughts, and feelings about jealousy as it involves his girlfriend, June. Read More